Okay, so I realize that while I am no expert on anything, I can say that I have been pregnant more than the average woman of today, so perhaps I might be able to have some clout when I make some claims to knowing a little about it.

I have decided that since I was recently pregnant, and it is fresh in my mind, I will now post some tips and things I have learned throughout my many years of being pregnant–this is mostly for people who are on their fourth+ pregnancy.

1. Answer is the best brand of early pregnancy test.  It is reliable, it hardly ever leaves  “evaportion lines” that get your hopes up (if you are hoping that you are pregnant), and it shows positive sometimes even earlier than First Response, which is much more expensive.  For the accuracy and dependability, the price is amazingly low for a retail pregnancy test.

That being said, you can now order strips online at Amazon.  You can get 25 for the price of one pregnancy test.  This is great if you are having difficulty conceiving and are testing frequently.

2.  Morning sickness is something that happens all the time.

Maybe someone somewhere once only had it one morning, but I have had it all day, every day for most of my pregnancies for at least the first trimester, and it has gotten progressively worse as I have had more children.

3.  By the time you are pregnant with your fourth baby, don’t expect to be a completely functional individual for the first three months of your pregnancy at least.

I usually operate at 45% capacity, and wander around the house in my pajamas frequently.  That is not a bad thing.

I think if we would just admit to our 45% capacity operational level, we wouldn’t try to overdo and then be so tired.  I think if we just planned to do maybe two things per day, we would feel a lot better about ourselves.

Also, I would suggest right now to get a lot of pajamas.

4.  The second trimester usually gets better, but sometimes it doesn’t.

The important thing to remember is to understand that anything can happen, and no matter what anyone tells you, it could be totally different and not resemble any other pregnancy that has ever been documented.

5. Doctors don’t know everything.

Midwives don’t know everything.

Nobody really knows anything, really, except God, who often doesn’t disclose everything for reasons that we don’t always understand.

6. No matter when you think you are going to have your baby, it’s always going to be not that time.

7.  For most women, eating healthy during the first trimester becomes very difficult–especially in later pregnancies.

I don’t know why.  It’s so frustrating.

I can always count on going from my typical green smoothie breakfast and all of my assurances to myself that I will do it no matter what to having vanilla pudding for breakfast, lunch and dinner three weeks later.

I also find that our family dinners, breakfasts and lunches kind of go out the window.  “Leftover takeout pizza for breakfast, anyone?” or “Cake for dinner?”  “Cereal for lunch?”

I have to take pride in the fact that, with the exception of pizza, it’s all organic junk food, though, so I can ease my guilty conscience.

8. Exhaustion is just a way of life after the fourth pregnancy.  It’s just going to be that way for a long time.

9. The idea of having twins as time goes by becomes less and less cute and exciting. One at a time is very, very acceptable and good.

10. If you want to keep a healthy self-image, do not shop for pregnancy clothes in real life, where the pregnant women look like underweight sick inidividuals who are merely bloated and have enlarged chests, instead of a real pregnant woman who has a gentle roundness all over.

And finally, it is always worth it.