right down the middle of main street, u.s.a.

right down the middle of main street, u.s.a.

I usually go to DisneyWorld at least once a week to walk. DisneyWorld is ginormous, and just walking from the parking lots (even the handicapped ones!), to the front gate is quite a hike. But, I love walking there because there is always a reward.

Made it to Main Street? Hooray! Time to buy a Vera Bradley backpack!

Walked to Fantasyland? Yay! You can take a flight with Peter Pan and have lunch in the Beast’s Castle!

Made it to Frontierland without getting run over by a scooter? Yay! Take a ride on the Big Thunder Mountain railroad!

Survived the 500 mile trek across Future World to the World Showcase? Visit Italy and eat gelato.

Walked through Hollywood Studios? Well, now you can ride to Nabu with C3P0 and see Jar-Jar Binks! (Who wouldn’t want to do that?) Crazy fun, I’m telling you.

And, who can resist the amazingness that is the People Mover?

Not me.

I tell you, it’s magic.

And it’s a good incentive to walk and walk and walk some more.

But, here’s the thing about walking when you can’t always command the left side of your body to cooperate.

You can fall.

I’ve fallen in FutureWorld.

I’ve fallen at Mt. Everest.

But, the place I’ve fallen the most?

Yep. You guessed it right. Right down the middle of Main Street, U.S.A.

Approximate location of my epic face plant

Approximate location of my epic face plant

It’s always crowded, and for some reason, I am always right in the middle of the road, and suddenly, my left side stops working and I face plant right in front of everyone.

It is so, well, me. That’s me.

And you’d think I’d be used to it because I feel like I’ve been awkward all of my life, but no, every time I am surprised–shocked, even! And then, there is a brief sense of feeling like the Universe decided it didn’t like me today.

Except for the last time it happened.

I wasn’t surprised and I didn’t feel betrayed by Heaven.

It hurt. I mean, totally banged up my knee and my foot. It was painful. But, I just, well, you know,

Picked myself up, dusted myself off, and started all over again.

As I was staring at the very clean asphalt (which I thought was looking on the bright side–DisneyWorld has the cleanest pavement of anywhere), I didn’t even have my normal emotional pyrotechnics. Usually, I go from hurt to angry to embarrassed to feeling sorry for myself. Not this time.

I graduated.

I really did just pick myself up and I kept walking. Well, I was kind of stumbly-walking because it was painful, but I kept limp-charging forward! After all, I was going to try the grey stuff (and it’s delicious! Don’t believe me? Well, you know who to ask…) at Beast’s castle! It was a date with destiny, and destiny doesn’t like to be kept waiting.

Destiny and the Grey Stuff Don't Like To Be Kept Waiting.

Destiny and the Grey Stuff Don’t Like To Be Kept Waiting.

Anyway, I just didn’t feel bad.  Sure, people were staring, but I was able to get up before causing a scene, and I was still walking, right? Sometimes I think I worry that I might fall and not be able to walk again, but so far, so good.

I will keep trying and keep going, and the falling–well, it only reminds me that I am human.

And sometimes it reminds me that I need to be using a cane, or to slow down, for heaven’s sake. After all, while destiny does not like to be kept waiting, a queen is never late–everyone else is simply…early.

Yes, instead of feeling “lame,” I just channel Julie Andrews.

And I really smiled. Not just a smile on the outside. My insides smiled, too.

Instead of being afraid, I just thought my falling was proof that I was walking and moving and trying and going forward.

And getting back up and going forward was proof that I am making it.

I don’t know exactly where I am going half the time, but I do know that I am following my heart and that my heart is more powerful than the embarrassment of  face planting on Main Street.

I am going to prove it. I am going to keep walking and trying and moving and falling until this is behind me and I am stronger and wiser and better.

And smiling inside.

There are places I need to go, and I am going to go there. And I am not afraid of how I am going to get there.

So what if I fall every once in a while? It’s not the end of the world. So what if I face plant three times a day? So what if I end up with a cane, or a walker, or whatever? Basically, so what if half the time I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing and feel like I might fall at any moment and feel like it’s all impossible?

I am still going forward. I am still getting up. And I always will. I will never stop, no matter how many times I slam into that pavement, because I am walking for my family, and for whatever ounce of good I can contribute to make the world a little better. That’s what life is, right? Going forward in the face of the impossible–going forward in spite of the fear that you will fail.

The SMeE has really helped me see that–that I am not going to give up. On anything. Or anyone. Including myself. Sure, I make mistakes. Lots of them. Sure, I can be embarrassing to be around. Sure, I can make a fool of myself. Often. On an hourly basis.

But that doesn’t change that I am the daughter of a King. It will never change that I am beautiful and wonderful and have the potential to be Absolutely Incredible in Heaven’s eyes. Falling doesn’t change that. And getting up after the fall makes me better for it.

So I am never, ever going to quit. No matter what life throws at me, no matter how many times I fall, I am going to keep going and trust in good things to come.

“Don’t you quit. You keep walking, you keep trying, there is help and happiness ahead. Some blessings come soon. Some come late. Some don’t come until heaven. But for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come. It will be alright in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come.”

5 Comments

  1. All right!!! Way to keep walking! So fun to visit Disney World weekly. Did you ever imagine yourself doing that? I think most of me doesn’t know what it’s doing, but I try really hard to pretend that I am. :)

    Reply
  2. I’m glad you have some place fun to walk! And faceplant. All those lovely things. ( :

    I’m so glad you get up and keep going. I have no idea what dealing with the SMeE is like. Sounds hideous.
    I struggle to just get up and face the day, but I do it! And I rarely feel like I’m winning this battle called life, but I keep going. We’re so imperfect and just plain messed up, but we keep going. In the end, isn’t that all that really matters to the Lord?

    “I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith.”

    I love how that scripture says “my” course. As we all have differing courses. What matters is finishing our very own course, not worrying about the course of our friends and neighbors.

    Reply
  3. {{{Hugs!}}} Love you! I’m so proud of you for standing up and going on. Bless you, sweet friend!

    Hugs,
    Rachel

    Reply
    • P.S.– How’s the move going?

      Reply
      • It’s going to be great! We just got confirmation that we are going to indeed be moving to a no stairs house and I am hoping for things to go relatively smoothly. It looks like I will have a week to move things over room by room so I don’t have to be overwhelmed on “Moving Day.” Yay for that! I am praying it will all work just like that. We’ll see. :)

        Reply

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