I am making history.
And, I am not going to stop.
No, I am going to keep going.
It’s hard sometimes to be a history-maker when I am in the middle of history.
If only I had the benefit of being able to step out of time and go in the future and be able to see my history making from where it’s safe and sound. From where the sacrifice is just a nice story with a beautiful ending, where people can skip the bad parts if they want to.
Because right here and now I am in the middle of it, and it’s a mess, sometimes.
It really seems like most days I am outgunned and outnumbered and outfinanced, but I know I am going to win in the end.
Sometimes, I am in the laundry room folding the clothes and I suddenly remember how important I am to the world, and I have to catch my breath. I look down at the socks and the shirts and the trousers, and I fold them a little more carefully, almost reverently.
Because I am making history.
The fresh smell of clean linen on the bed, the picking up of the toys at midnight because they got too tired, the staying up late at night with the sick one, the endless listening to everything from rockets to fire engines to fairies to boys to games to pizza–driving, jobs and what-am-I-going-to-do-with-my-life: this isn’t just ethereal–it’s tangible.
It creates a real net of safety and security and love that conquers literally…all.
I look around at the ten people still at home who I have the privilege of loving and serving and teaching, and I see history being made.
I see people who are passionate and not afraid to question the status quo.
People who are fiercely independent and who love all humankind fiercely.
People who don’t forget to look up and dream about the stars.
I see people who seem to grasp something I didn’t when I was younger.
They have an innate understanding that they are not the center of the universe–that they are one tiny spark in the long history of the world, but that spark can mean something.
They are better than I ever was.
Sure, they have their faults. They are human, after all, but I still think it has been an honor to participate in the most amazing experiment.
I have been able to participate in finding out what happens when two people who love each other, even imperfectly, love something bigger than themselves.
We had dreams, you know. My husband and I. We wanted to Make A Difference. We had great, amazing plans.
And they were nothing compared to what we get to do.
I can’t take credit for this.
I am more like a bystander. All I did was love them and do their laundry and listen and be tough sometimes when it would have been easier to give in, and I stood back and watched that spark ignite.
Sometimes I wish they weren’t so independent and strong and courageous. Sometimes it scares me how courageous they are.
How willing they are to face anything to defend truth or to protect other people. Even if one of them is threatened at gunpoint.
Yes, that happened.
That’s who I live with. People like that. How could I want to do or be anything else?
I wish I could always have them near me. But, no. They will go.
They will fly.
And they will burn.
And they will leave their mark. Even if it’s just in a small house in a small town–a gunman and a boy who dares to say, “I am not afraid.”
“What will happen if I shoot you?”
“Well, I will probably die. But I am not afraid.”
Nothing else I could ever do–nothing–will ever be able to compare to the fact that I get to have a front row seat to watching my people light up the world.
And I am so consumed by it that I can’t seem to find time to do anything else.
I honestly get distracted when I try to do all the “important things” people seem to spend so much time doing. I can’t do other things because this is it for me.
I know it is. Everything else is so--ordinary.
Our people–our little children, our young people, our budding adults–I am telling you–they have the potential to blow us all away.
They just need us to give them safety and a purpose greater than what we sometimes give them. It’s more than getting into the right college or doing great in high school, or sports, or whatever it is, or having a great job, or even following “their dreams”…
They need to know that their purpose is to change the world. To rid it of hate and evil. Every other success and dream they have should be with that in mind–how it will help them to make the world lighter and better and good.
They have the power to change it all.
We just have to be there and give them that purpose and stand back and watch them burn like the sun.
And, yes, they will blow us all away.