choose joy

remembering Joy in how I choose to live

my big secrets

I have secrets. I've been keeping things from you, my dear readers, and I feel like I need to come clean. I think I've been trying to shield you from the nuclear fusion that is my life. I mean, I feel like if I divulge too much, you'll be saying, "Whoa. Can't click on...

standing…resolute.

Last year I was writing about how I needed a one word for the year, and how I stood resolute with my resolutions. All in perfect ignorance of what was in front of me. What a year. This year, well, there are no words. And I don't know if I am standing resolute or not....

thanksgiving thoughts from the ranch

Well, it's almost here. The official beginning of the holidays is not very far away and I find myself sitting up in my room wondering if I am ready. Probably not. But, I wanted to take the time to talk about it with you, because maybe it will help. Thanksgiving is a...

fighting gratitude

So, I have been noticing how everyone is thankful this month. And that's not surprising because it's going to be Thanksgiving. Everyone's internet personas are posting all kinds of gratitude all over the social media and I have been silent. And I almost felt guilty...

waiting for the lights…

After Joy died, I think I really felt done. It wasn't just her death. Being a mother with little ones in this world is pretty tough stuff. It's hard to navigate in a world that seems increasingly bent on self-annihilation. I was just exhausted and discouraged. It...

seventeen miracles

The pioneers that climbed Rocky Ridge also claimed many miracles along the way. In my commemoration of Pioneer Day, I realized I couldn't let it go by without mentioning my own 17 Miracles that have gotten me through this far. 1. John. You can read all about that...

a prayer

O God, who holdest all souls in life; and callest them unto thee as seemeth best: we give them back, dear God, to thee who gavest them to us. But as thou didst not lose them in the giving, so we do not lose them by their return. For not as the world giveth, givest...

three months

Three months ago one of my college roommates (and one of my dearest friends) had a beautiful baby girl named Victoria. It was fun to be pregnant at the same time as she was. She ran a marathon in her second or third trimester. She swam in the water. In Maine. In a...

goodnight, moon

Hello, moon. It is three am and you woke me up. I looked out the window at the silver blue light cascading and spilling out all over the snow covered hills and flowing into every nook and cranny of the valley and I thank Him for the gift. She even left a few stars out...

a broken vase

I was upstairs. I was contemplating trying once again to take down the "Thomas The Tank Engine" duvet cover I've had hanging over my window since February 11. Thomas, Percy and Friends stare at me every day, asking when I am going to let the sunshine in and allow them...

God is not dead, nor doth He sleep

One of my favorite poets wrote a Christmas verse from the depths of his solemn despair.  From that despair came an unshaken hope.  Of Christ, this poet once wrote: Though in a manger thou drawest thy breath, Thou are greater than Life and Death... Even in the beauty...