12 Months of Christmas

I was going to do presents for the first time in several years this year.  I think it was guilt–I was feeling a little inadequate–having just come out of a very difficult pregnancy, a rough beginning for the newest addition, and then becoming pregnant again–I just feel like I haven’t been the most fun, exciting mom to be around over the past year.  So, a little gifting was sure to make me feel well-liked and better.

The only problem is, my kids wouldn’t go along with it.  They don’t want to do presents.  They said it wouldn’t be as fun.  And, after thinking about it, I have to agree.

Instead of gifting to ourselves last year, we decided to focus on other things during Christmas, and we really wanted to be able to give of our hearts to others.  We had hoped we would find an opportunity in December, but December came and went quietly, and our giving was made anonymously to a humanitarian effort.

As our family has looked over the year, we realized that doors were opened for us to give every month–sort of a 12 Months of Christmas, instead of 12 Days of Christmas.

We realized that we were able to give our time, our hearts, and often, our resources every single month. These weren’t just random “service projects”–these were real, intense, personal things that just happened to come our way.  Because we had prayed for it at Christmas, we were given insights into the hardships and sufferings of others–whether good friends or mere acquaintances–that I know would not have occurred if we had been more focused on gifting to ourselves.

I am sure if we had kept a record every year that we have had “Christmas with no presents,” we would see a similar pattern.

Of course, Christmas is a time when most people are moved to be more generous and that is a very good thing.  I am definitely not against gift giving.  But, in a society that has become increasingly materialistic and focused on consuming at Christmas, it becomes harder and harder to give in meaningful, non-consumerist ways, and we found that we enjoyed the holiest day of the year much more without the presents.

We aren’t the only ones who have more joy without gifts.  From a 2008 article in Yes magazine:

The Journal of Happiness Studies by researchers Tim Kasser of Knox College and Kennon M. Sheldon of the University of Missouri-Columbia found that people who emphasized time spent with families and meaningful religious or spiritual activities had merrier Christmases.

“Despite the fact that people spend relatively large portions of their income on gifts, as well as time shopping for and wrapping them,” the researchers said, “such behavior apparently contributes little to holiday joy.”

There are many people these days who are going giftless at Christmas to be more environmentally friendly, but a benefit to nixing the gifts is that it just makes for a much happier Christmas.  Most people who wouldn’t think of a Christmas without presents are fearful that their children would be disappointed.  I have been researching the phenomenon of a “no buy Christmas” and have found several instances where it was the children themselves–some as young as 4 or 5–who told their parents they didn’t want any more presents at Christmas.

If you do feel that it is important for your family to continue in a gift giving tradition, please consider the poor at Christmas–I mean the poor in China who make all those toys sitting in store aisles.  There are other alternatives to Wal-Mart, Target, and Toys ‘R Us.  Etsy has a wide variety of homemade toys to choose from, and the Village Blocksmith is perhaps the coolest thing I have ever seen!  Some other suggestions:

• Probably too late for this year, but have your children illustrate a story and scan in the pictures and get them bound in a hardcover book at Shutterfly.  Often, they offer 50% off, or buy two get one free promotions so multiple copies can be ordered for extended family members.
• Give experiences instead of stuff–passes to the local indoor pool during winter, movie tickets, etcetera.
• Shop EBay, Amazon, Half.com, or Alibris for antique or hardcover editions of favorite books (I suppose this might only work for book lovers).  One of the best gifts I ever received was an early edition copy of Les Miserables, in several small volumes.  It is beautiful, and very dear to me.
• Shop the classifieds–my neighbor found a lady selling a collection of Polly Pockets that would have retailed at over $500 for $50.  Her daughter didn’t care that she didn’t have to wait for her dad to get a power saw to break through the plastic that is usually covering new toys.  She got to dig right in, and years later, still enjoys playing with them.
• Membership to a local museum, park, or zoo can be a great gift for a whole family.
• Lessons–horseback riding, ice skating, etcetera.
• Yummy, expensive, toasty wool socks.
• Fresh baked bread (I know I would love this as a gift, considering I can’t bake anything), or rolls.
• A handpicked basket of high quality chocolates (I would recommend an assortment of Lindt truffles, Rittersport bars, Milka, and almost any chocolate imported from Germany.
• Pay for a caterer and have a party at home instead of spending money on gifts.  You would be surprised at how low the cost can be, and then you can enjoy the party without having to get exhausted preparing for it.
• Donate to a humanitarian effort.  There are thousands to choose from!

However you celebrate, enjoy the beautiful holiday, and actually consider and act on the words from a favorite Christmas classic, rather than just giving them a passing sigh and smile:

Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small,

Was singing without any presents at all!

He hadn’t stopped Christmas from coming! It came!

Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And the Grinch, with his grinch feet ice-cold in the snow,

Stood puzzling and puzzling. “How could it be so?

It came without ribbons! It came without tags!

It came without packages, boxes, or bags!”

He puzzled and puzzed till his puzzler was sore.

Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before.

Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store.

Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more!

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Tagged as: holidays