My dad was a technical genius and he loved computers. We always had technology in the house, and that was a long time ago. I remember playing DOS games on the TRS-80, being amazed at the Amiga, and beating my sister at Archon on the Commodore 64. When the first gaming systems came out, we were right there playing Pac-Man and Space Invaders on the Atari.
I never really spent a lot of time on gaming. I was too easily bored. As gaming evolved, I thought it was fun to look at the little characters and lands but I never could quite care about points or “getting to the next level.” I also started to get nauseated if I played the more modern games. Eventually, the games got too complicated, and I had a life, so I was no longer interested.
When I got married and began having children, I thought, like most people, that I wouldn’t mind having my kids and husband play games (and I wouldn’t mind doing a little race now and then–I thought it might be fun). I just thought we could limit the time played and schedule it so it would be fun instead of time consuming.
That didn’t work out like I imagined.
My husband, fortunately for me, liked some computer games, but never felt like he had time to spend on them, so he didn’t play very much. My son liked video games, and we tried timing and scheduling.
One thing I noticed with the games was that it was hard to “exit” out of the game itself. What a process. I think my son would be asked at least 117 times if he really wanted to exit. Then, there would be the “Are you sure?” and finally, the last button would always say something like, “Quitting the game”. Always with the word “quit” at the end, as if he were somehow giving up on the game and not trying hard enough.
If a game could be saved, it was even worse.
With the advent of the X-Box and other high tech gaming systems, playing games became impossible to do in a short time period. First, he had to load the game, then he had to choose or design a character and equip said character with all sorts of paraphernalia. I would call him to tell him it was time to turn it off and he would say, “I haven’t even started playing yet!!!”
Ah, Lego Star Wars. How I came to despise you.
It was about this time I was introduced to the Robinson Curriculum. Dr. Robinson’s Course of Study was plain. No gaming.
I tried to do the curriculum and “limit” gaming. The results were mediocre. I knew something was going to have to be done, but I was scared. I knew what would happen if I took it away, because, I like so many other mothers, often found myself using the game as a bargaining chip in the effort to get schoolwork, chores and other things done. I used it as a weapon almost. And he complied. If I told him he couldn’t play for two days, by day two he was syrupy sweet looking for ways to cajole me into letting him play.
And, sadly, a lot of the time, it worked. It’s just–he was so nice to me and I was so busy. And then, when the game was on, it was so quiet in the house. The kids would all gather around the console and screen like bees to honey and watch the adventures.
Other Posts In This Series
- why and how we don't do video games: part 1, the research behind our decision
- why and how we don't do video games: part 2, how we got them out of the house (This post)
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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh I love this! I am always trying to find ways to limit video games with my boys! Thanks you for your insight!
I’m loving these posts Misty! I really need this to help my husband. I’d love to see the computer games OUT of our house completely, but I’m sure it will be a looong process, if I’m ever successful at it at all.
It also helps me not start on computer games with the kids. They haven’t played before, but I have been considering letting them start to play educational games. We’re trying to learn addition and subtraction facts right now and I have been wanting to make it “fun.” I thought, “Oh, I’m doing good to start out with a non-fun game and making them get good at that before playing fun ones.” They are doing xtra math (found at http://www.xtramath.org) which is nothing more than the facts displayed on the screen. I like it just because it keeps giving them ones they need to work on and shows their progress on a chart. It’s essentially like doing flashcards, but instead of me holding the cards I can sit and feed the baby while watching them do the problems on the computer. ANYWAY, the point being that I was considering letting them do “fun” games after they’d mastered a certain amount of facts.
But, something keeps telling me I’ll regret it if I start letting them play even “educational” games. It really is hard! Thankfully we’ve never been into the video games. Your post reminded me that I’ve been wanting to talk to my kids about the these things and we had a small discussion this morning. Thanks for all you are putting into this. I love how you are finding a good way to use your time even when you’re stuck in bed.
YES! I am blessed to have a husband who supports me in this as well…he feels like he spent way too much wasted time on games as a youth and doesn’t want that for our family. I have watched others close up and am amazed. I was recently at someone’s house and she wanted to show me something on the computer but her son was on it; she said to me, “I’ll see if [] will let me show you.”
I thought, who is in charge here?
Anyway, I totally agree.
every time i see other kids playing video games it strengthens my resolve not to have them in my home, period. this stengthens it even more. i might link to this on facebook, if that’s ok!
Sure, go ahead. Thanks for taking the time to comment!
How’d you know I was looking for a reason to splurge on a huge lot of legos?
Mwahahahaha…
My husband is a mobile game developer. He does play, but casually and has very strict rules with regards to content and if I decide it’s inappropriate, it goes in the trash. If he plays too much or too long, I am free to turn it off and ground him from said games. Thankfully, I don’t have to do either very much.